I am from birth out of wedlock to a registered nurse and a truck driver. I am from being whisked away immediately after birth to live in an incubator for a week before my mother was permitted to see me. I am from two half brothers - one who lived with us and the other who visited only periodically.
I am from violence I couldn't understand coming to me from beyond my closed bedroom door. I am from bruises on my mother the morning after. I am from explosive tempers and walking on eggshells. I am from trucker's language, 'women are only good for one thing', and 'boys only want to get in your pants'. I am from sitting on the back porch and wishing I'd never come home after school as I listened to the fighting inside. I am from 'might is right' and "do as you're told". I am from "go to your room and tell me when you're ready for your spanking". I am from barbies with handmade clothing lovingly stitched by my Grandmother and sent through the mail on birthdays and Christmases. I am from summer vacations spent at my Aunt and Uncles farm with all six of my cousins. I am from weekends at my Grandma's and perogies and cabbage rolls and big family gatherings. I am from kitchen chair haircuts that sent me crying "I look like a boy!". I am from neighbour girls who were prettier than me and therefore, I believed, more lovable. I am from singing myself to sleep at night. I am from whisker rubs and rough tusselling until "That's enough, now.". I am from playing outside until dusk fell and the street lights came on. I am from bedtime back scratches and lullabies.
I am from late night westerns, John Wayne, and Clint Eastwood. I am from Gilligan's Island, Bugs Bunny, and Ed Sullivan. I am from colouring books, reading, Mary Poppins, and Gone With the Wind. I am from asking for a dog and getting a goldfish. I am from asking for a dog and getting a canary. I am from asking for a dog and refusing to speak until I got a dog. It took several weeks and he was a German Spitz I named Tiki. I am from scary things hiding in the basement and under the stairs. I am from being afraid of the dark. I am from trailing along behind my older brother and his friends everywhere they went. I am from tomboy adventures that led straight to the emergency room. I am from stitches and casts and bandages. I am from skipping ropes and hopscotch games drawn in chalk on the sidewalk. I am from sleepovers, Jiffy Pop popcorn, all-night monopoly games, and ghost stories. I am from drive-in movies watched from a bed made up in the back of our station wagon. I am from playing house, playing school, and playing doctor. I am from corner store candy and Double Bubble gum. I am from malted milkshakes in the Woodward's basement cafeteria bought for me by my big brother. I am from A&W rootbeer, and potato chips. I am from homemade pumpkin pie on my birthday. I am from Hutterites on Saturday's at the Army & Navy. I am from helping Dad fix the car and Mom bake. I am from snowmen, snow forts, campfires, fishing, and sleeping in tents. I am from the last one at the dinner table pushing her meat around on the plate until it could be secreted deep within the garbage can.
I am from a kitten discovered under the Christmas tree with my name on it's collar that mysteriously disappeared after school one day without explanation. I am from scars on my face from picking up the neighbour's cat and not telling the truth about that until I was in my 30's. I am from braces and a year's worth of bad hair days in high school. I am from six of us riding to school crammed in our friend's Datsun. I am from Runner-up in the Miss Teen Beauty Pageant, losing to my best friend. I am from thank you letters and table manners and 'please' and 'may I?'. I am from pulp mills and pick-up trucks; from 'retard' and 'bohunk'. I am from always knowing I never wanted to have children. I am from corporate 9-5 career woman and Dress for Success. I am from infidelity, victim hood, and choosing to learn from the experience. I am from hearing about both my grandmothers' funerals after they'd already occurred. I am from exploring foreign countries, living through a hurricane on Fiji, and getting lost on a French speaking colony for a week. I am from a belief in the magic of things unseen. I am from "I died on a cross for you!" I am from standing up, speaking up, and choosing a new path.
All content and photos are original to Carolynn Anctil and A Glowing Ember and are copyrighted, 2006 - 2013. Please do not copy, or download any content without express written consent. All content and photos remain the sole property of Carolynn Anctil and A Glowing Ember forever unto eternity. Don't take what doesn't belong to you. Karma will kick your ass. Don't say I didn't warn you.
I'm a Superficial Dabbler - I know a little bit about a lot of things and I'm an expert at none of them. I’m a city girl with a country soul, a curious nature, and a very short attention span. I believe that animals are angels wrapped in fur, come down from heaven to model unconditional love. I'm also profoundly blessed to be married to the man I prayed for and God provided.
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